A Dolphin Has Absolutely Wiped Out A Paddleboarder, Perhaps Sparking The Dolphin War
I, for one, welcome our new dolphin overlords
The internet is enjoying a video of a dolphin absolutely smashing a paddleboarder, because it’s enjoyable to watch someone get punished for trying. However, it could signify the advent of the dreaded dolphin war.
Paddleboarders are so snooty with their immensely defined core and wholesome outdoor hobbies. Oh, so you think you’re too good to sit down on the board? Maybe being thwapped by an ocean-bull will teach you how to be humble.
Boom??? pic.twitter.com/JakrYR5bsI
— clark little (@clarklittle) April 28, 2018
What an enjoyable video.
But while we’re all happy to see paddleboarders taken down a notch, they are still nominally members of the human race — and we have to wonder if this brutal takedown is the first salvo in the dreaded Dolphin War.
We have to ask whether this dolphin attacked us on porpoise.
For years, people who have warned about the potential of the dolphin wars have been written off as blow-hards, as spouting nonsense. But perhaps they are the only ones who can sea the real truth? If the dolphins attack, it could all be fin-ished for humanity. Umm,
As we all know, The Simpsons have a long history in scarily predicting the future, and we’re afraid to admit that back in ‘Night of the Dolphin’, which screened as part of Treehouse of Horror XI, they predicted that one day the dolphins will rise up and wipe humanity off the face of the Earth.
Can you honestly say that we don’t deserve it?
People say that dolphins are the clowns of the sea, but perhaps that’s what they want us to think. I for one would like to welcome our new dolphin overlords.