Snooty The Manatee Dead At The Tender And Sexual Age Of 69

It is with the heaviest of hearts that I announce that Snooty the Manatee has left this world to sea cow his ass off in the great tributaries in the sky. Snooty is was the oldest living manatee ever. Now, I’m not sure how scientists know that kinda thing because I don’t see scientists using polling data to collect the ages of all living manatees. If they are doing polling, is the research methodology even up to snuff? It’s hard to say but I doubt it. Getting an accurate census can be a daunting task. It’s not like you can cut off a manatee’s dick and count the numbers of rings inside like it’s a fucking tree. Manatees’ penises do not have many tree-like qualities as far as I know, but that’s neither here nor there.

Anyway, Kmarko told me about Snooty yesterday morning and I was so upset that I wrote a little song about it. Please do not comment on my singing voice or the fact that I did the blues scale backwards. Not to brag but I did this memorandum of Snooty in one take. One eulogical song. Everybody knows the rules.